Coping with the Holidays

Author Unknown

The months of November and December are punctuated with holidays-days filled with family, traditions and memories.  These family times can be particularly difficult for those who are bereaved, rather than being those times of great joy and celebration to which we are accustomed.

Holidays, such as Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and the New Year, may add to the pain, pressure and stress we are already feeling.  The following ideas may help you think about and plan for the coming holiday season.

  • Acknowledge to yourself, as well as family and friends that your life has changed.  It is not necessary for you or your family to continue to do what you have done in the past.
  • The holidays can bring up so many emotions-depressions, loneliness, feeling constantly on the verge of tears, anger, nervousness and fear.  Recognize these feelings and share them with those around you.  This helps others to be more in tune with how you are doing.  It also helps them to understand your moods and decisions.
  • Decide what will be most important and helpful to you this holiday season.
  • Talk with your family about how to approach these days. Enroll their support.
  • There may be traditions you want to continue, with some changes.  There may be some family traditions that no longer feel suitable.  You may even create a new one or chose to skip the holidays altogether.  Whatever your choices, give yourself time and flexibility.
  • Make a list of tasks and then break the list into pieces that are manageable.
  • Wherever possible, eliminate the unnecessary jobs, pressures and stresses of the holidays.