Learning to Sleep Again After a Major Loss
by Lori Rappaport, Ph.D,
Families Helping Families Staff Physcologist
It is difficult to appreciate the value of sleep until you try to get by without it. While some sleep problems may be connected to a biological mechanism, most are often related to environmental and stress factors. A period of depression almost always follows a major loss, and one of the prime symptoms of depression is sleep disturbance. This disturbance may be expressed by too much or too little sleep.
To fully understand sleep problems, we need to know something about the circadian cycles that underlie sleep patterns. Circadian rhythms repeat about every twenty-four hours and include patterns of sleeping and waking, activity and rest, hunger and eating. These cycles need to be in harmony if we are to have a sense of well being during the day. We reset these cycles each day by using various cues such as bedtime, mealtime and especially the time of waking. If we do not use these signals to guide us, our cycles become “off” and we experience sleep disturbances which often have a negative affect on our behavior and cognitive abilities when we are awake.
In the midst of grief, life as we know it is no more. We are no longer hungry, we have little interest in normal activities, and often lack the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. The cues which typically keep our cycle regulated are no longer effective. We struggle to accommodate to a world which no longer includes the person we loved. The
Lack of a “normal” routine results in changes in our sleep patterns. Some degree of sleep disturbance is normally expected in the grief process. However, a lack of sufficient sleep may predispose you to mental and physical exhaustion or even disease. Furthermore, the cumulative effect of weeks of sleepless nights can interfere with your normal behavior and good judgement and most of all, impair your ability to grieve. If you are well rested, you will be better equipped to face the challenge that each new day brings.
If you find yourself having trouble falling asleep, or remaining asleep, there are several things you can try. First and foremost, protect your need to sleep. Most adults require 7.5 to 8 hours of sleep, so make sure you allow for adequate time in bed, free from interruptions and demands.