David F. Arnal Program
The David F. Arnal Organ Donor and Recipient Program
David Arnal was only 18 years old when he was killed in an automobile accident in June of 1998. His organs were donated and have profoundly affected the lives of over 44 people, perhaps none more than Eli Benjamini. Having never seeing his first grandchild, looking into the eyes of his loving wife, Leslie, Eli resigned himself to die. Today, Eli holds his wife and grandchild in his arms, grateful to David F. Arnal and his family.
Together with the help of The Jenna Druck Foundation, a non-profit program for families whose children have died, the Arnal and Benjamini families have grown very close. Supported by a gift from Eli and Leslie, The David F. Arnal Organ Donor and Recipient Program now assists families throughout San Diego by facilitating Family Council Gatherings, as well as providing education, consultation and support.
The Jenna Druck Foundation was established in 1996 to assist families after the death of a child. Parents whose children became organ donors often express a desire to contact the recipients of their children’s organs. Recipients often feel the same need to make contactwith the families of their donors. To assist them, Dr. Ken Druck, the Foundation’s Executive Director began holding “Family Council Meetings” bringing together donor and recipient families. The results of such a meeting were so positive for Eli Benjamini, a heart transplant recipient, that he dedicated a donor/recipient family program in honor of David F. Arnal, the young man whose heart he received.
Today, the David F. Arnal Organ Donor and Recipient Program serves families in Southern California. Over 600 families lose a child to illness, accidents, homicide and suicide each year in San Diego. Many parents, like Francis Arnal-Torres, donate their children’s organs in order that another person may live. These families need a lifeline. Transplantation counselors are there immediately following a child’s death, but what happens in the weeks and months afterward, when the shock begins to wear off and the grieving process intensifies? America too often encourages a culture of silence about death and grief, as well as the many emotions that arise for donor and recipient families. Donor and recipient families are expected to move on with their lives with little time allowed to process these feelings. Lacking the necessary support, education and healing, valuable opportunities for healing on both sides are lost.
Program Services
1. EDUCATION
Donor Family Workshops and classes provide a safe forum for parents to join with other transplantation parents in learning about the experience of being a donor parent. These programs employ a variety of learning modalities, including peer education, films and experiential learning to teach parents how to best deal with the emotional aspects or losing a child and donating their organs. The program also writes and distributes informative pamphlets for donor parents and recipients.
2. OUTREACH
Outreach to Families include Family Council meetings bringing together donor and recipient family members and friends affected by the loss of a child, brother, sister or grandchild. The Jenna Druck Foundation has set up and conducted meetings for families throughout San Diego County.
3. SUPPORT
Networking and Ongoing Support Groups are vital services for donor parents and siblings. Parent volunteers and professional Bereavement Facilitators help donor parents connect with others who have experienced similar losses. Parents bonded by having had their children’s organs donated create a support network.
4. CONSULTATION
The Community Response Team (CRT) is comprised of trained volunteers, Certified Bereavement Facilitators and mental health professionals, many of who are donor parents themselves. The CRT meets individually with families in the weeks and months following the initial transplant.
To contact Frances Arnal, please call 619-294-8000, E-mail fhf@jennadruck.org or Frances.
Frances’ Story
I was at work one day about 3 months after David died. I was feeling alone, desperate and empty. Out of nowhere I heard this ad about The Jenna Druck Foundation. I felt as if they were talking directly to me. Thought there was an angel in the sky. This was something I had to be a part of.
I called right away. Joelle was the first person I talked to. She invited me to the workshop, which I attended in December. There’s where I met a lot of parents with some similar experiences I had like wanting to die – found out I wasn’t crazy – they felt the same way. These parents understood me. The words out of Ken’s mouth were so comforting – I wasn’t going crazy. His words made me feel like he knew what I was going through.
After the meeting I felt like there is hope for me and understanding the pain will never go away. Others, trying to be helpful, would say things like, ‘time will heal’ (NOT true when you lose a child) or ‘He’s in a better place’ or ‘ You still have another child (NOT comforting, not helpful. He’s the only David. There’s no replacing a child).
Meeting and know that I’m not alone. There’s a place we can come to and comfort each other. I feel like it’s family – very comfortable.
I’m more aware. If someone should lose a child – I know what not to say and how to help. It was really helpful for me so I brought lots of family members so they could see how it was helping me. And they can see that other parents were experiencing the same thing, if not worse. I brought my daughter and niece to the children’s group. My daughter was having a hard time in school after her father died then her brother dying – not focusing enough in school. Not completing tasks. Focusing a lot on how I was doing – calling me constantly on the cell phone. She was afraid that I was going to die too. Now she’s doing really well in school. She’s in high school now and getting good grades.
After his car accident David was pronounced clinically brain dead. That’s when they asked if I would donate his organs. It was something that I believe in so I said yes. Why not give somebody else a second chance in life? I know David would have wanted me to do so.
Ken helped me to write a letter to Lifesharing stating I wanted to meet the recipients of my son’s organs. With Ken’s help, I was able to meet a young lady who got David’s kidneys.
To contact Frances, please call 619-294-8000, E-mail fhf@jennadruck.org