Letter from Ken Druck to Friends of FHF

Friday, November 1, 2001

Dear Friends:

Having just returned from New York, I feel compelled to share a few thoughts and inspirations with you.

I traveled to NY last week to give several “Healing Your Life After the Loss of a Child” Workshops, do a bereavement training for mental health professionals and meet with a select group of grieving/traumatized parents, siblings, families and police officers. With invitations and help from The New York Jewish Board of Family Services and South Nassau Hospital Counseling Center, two fine organizations handling bereavement care for the families, I was able to touch the lives of a great number of people in a relatively short time.

New York is where I was born and grew up. My family is still there. Rockville Centre, my home town, was one of the hardest hit. I am still learning of people I knew who died. Many hundreds of wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, grandparents, close friends and neighbors from this small Long Island community lost someone they loved on Sept. 11th. From the moment I witnessed the terrorist attacks on television, I knew I would be going “home” to NY to help out. Having pulled myself from the “emotional rubble” and horror of my own daughter’s death, and having helped hundreds of bereaved parents through our Foundation’s Families Helping Families Program, I felt honored to be asked.

I have never witnessed such devastation, physical or emotional, as I did in New York. It is no wonder so many Americans invoked “horror” recently by celebrating Halloween. The all-too-real shock and horror of Sept. 11th is simply overwhelming. And understandably so. But these feelings are inescapable to those who lost loved ones Sept. 11th. These people are living in the choiceless agony, overwhelming sorrow, yearning, rage and confusion of deep grief as they begin the long search for answers, understanding, faith, hope and the strength to go on. Many of them are simply searching for a way to survive to the next breath. I was honored by the trust and courage these people showed by coming to our workshops, searching for ways to help themselves and their families. And I was inspired by the love they expressed for their fallen sons, daughters, fathers and mothers.

During my five days in New York, I visited “Ground Zero,” three times, including the Memorial Service on Sunday. Ground Zero is something words cannot describe. No matter how long I stared, my mind and heart could not fully grasp the enormity of what had happened in this place. Or what had risen out of the ashes in the days since. The land on which two of the world’s most recognized buildings stood is unmistakably a war zone; a mountain of smoldering “rubble,” ruins surrounded by badly damaged buildings with boarded up windows, scorched trees, twisted metal and the stench of death. But this was only a part of it. Ground Zero is also holy land; a sacred place, shrine, burial ground and monument to heroes. The void has been filled by unprecedented outpourings of love and compassion, faith and courage, respect and admiration. Flowers, cards, candles, flags, teddy bears, photos, drawings and words of remembrance reflect a purity of love that is all-too-rare in our world.

Beyond the massive cranes and flat bed trucks carting away twisted steel beams, beyond the physical rubble, is the emotional and spiritual rubble. Ten’s of thousands of our fellow Americans are desperately trying to dig themselves and their families out from under the shock, horror, despair and sorrow that has enveloped them.

Our three New York workshops went very well. All participants felt significantly better equipped to face the difficult days ahead after the workshop. From the father who lost both of his son’s on the 105th floor to the mother whose son died trying to help others, all expressed newfound hope and faith in their ability to somehow go on. And believe it or not, there was laughter in each of the workshops. The laughter that comes from beginning to breathe again. And from feeling less alone. I have been told repeatedly by the parents and our NY sponsors that there had not been anything as helpful as our workshops. I don’t know that I have ever felt more deeply appreciated.

All in all, it was truly one of the great honors of my life to be in New York with these courageous wives, children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and close friends. We are in regular touch with many of the NY families and will return next month for a second series of workshops. The Jenna Druck Foundation has been asked to give additional workshops for the NYPD and the families of the Cantor-Fitzgerald and Marsh organizations. My dear friend, Dawn Anna, who attended our “Healing Your Life…” workshop after her daughter, Lauren, was killed at Columbine High School, recently asked me to speak to a group of several hundred families in New Jersey who lost loved ones in the terrorist attacks.

Dear friend, I hope this update has been helpful.

We have all only begun to realize the impact of Sept. 11, 2001. But we do know these families are going to need our help. Big time. In order to continue our work with the families in New York and San Diego, we will need your continued love and financial support and help finding sponsors to underwrite our programs in NY.

Please help us meet this difficult challenge,

Sending love and wishing you and your family only blessings,

Ken
—–

Ken Druck, Ph.D.,
Executive Director
The Jenna Druck Foundation

The Jenna Druck Foundation is continuing to play an integral role helping bereaved families from Southern California who lost loved ones Sept. 11th.

In specific:

* We continue to hold “Healing Your Life…” workshops for parents and siblings in NY and California whose child or sibling died in the Sept 11th terrorist attacks.

* We continue to work with organizations like the San Diego Unified School District, San Diego Union Tribune, San Diego Blood Bank and a host of radio and TV stations to help the general public, especially children, cope with traumatic stress and grief.

*We continue to develop and publish public health guidelines for dealing with grief and traumatic stress and help local and national radio and television educate the general public about how to help ourselves in the aftermath of September 11th.

*We continue to proactively advise TV networks on the potential dangers of repeatedly showing violent images to children and adults on television and on the benefits of community education programs that promote awareness.

*We continue to hold community “debriefings” at schools and businesses, as well as for media professionals experiencing traumatic stress.

* We continue to hold special support groups at the Foundation offices for all local families who lost loved ones on Sept. 11th, as well as those “re-traumatized” by the terrorist attacks.

* We continue to been in regular contact with representatives from the Mayor Guiliani’s office, NY State Disaster Relief, The Red Cross, and NY area hospitals and counseling centers who are helping family members who lost loved ones Sept. 11th.

* We continue to hold further professional training workshops for psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians, social workers, clergy and other health professionals in San Diego and New York.

* We continue to consult with NY City Police Officers on self-care and traumatic stress.